What You Don't See - Allergies

Living with food allergies isn’t just a medical condition. Avoiding a severe reaction is only one part of the challenge. For me, my food allergies have shaped much more than what I can eat. What many people don't see is the additional worry and constant fixation on what others around me are eating as well. Therefore, my nut allergies have also shaped my sense of safety.

On the outside, I look like most kids. I’m a girl who loves being active, learning, and having fun. I’m independent and have learned to handle my issues internally, so many people don't understand or see my constant fear. I’ve heard more times than I can count some version of, “You’ll be fine,” or “Stop worrying so much". I know people mean well, but their words sometimes leave me feeling lonely and misunderstood. Although people say I'm dramatic about my allergies, I am actually trying to downplay them. I hate bringing up my allergies, specifically because I hate seeming like an inconvenience and I often feel others won't understand how complicated it is.

Still, when people look at me and see a “normal” kid, it’s easy for them to dismiss the very real worries I feel about food. Few people realize how often my mind is constantly scanning the area for nut crumbs, and watching every area that becomes contaminated when someone does eat nuts. I never stop reading labels, feeling in my pocket for my EpiPen, and weighing the risk of something as simple as sitting down for a snack with friends. That constant awareness never really turns off, even though I wish more than anyone that it would.

My allergies have also given me a complicated relationship with my body. I love and appreciate it, but I also resent it for overreacting and adding a never-ending fear to my life. As I get older though, I’m learning to be grateful for the person I’ve become because of the challenges that come with allergies.

Living with allergies has also been instrumental in teaching me that you can’t tell what someone is going through just by looking at them. Allergies made me kinder, less judgmental, and more willing to truly get to know people, and I know it can do the same for others. Maybe that’s something people don’t see either. There is strength and compassion to be gained from the independent struggles people face.